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Strip Club–FCB 2012/13 Dollar Date

Last year FCB and Nike released a home kit that was mildly troublesome with the narrow stripes that bent in a diagonal fashion (it eventually grew on me), while the away kit was a sleek black, accented by yellow numbers and letters, that was pretty freakin sweet.

This year, the club launched their upcoming line and I have one word: BLURGH!!

I flooded my twitter timeline with the following comments:

Dear Phil Knight & #Nike, humbly submitting my app as newest kit designer. This (#FCB #Stopthesleeve etc.) cannot stand. We can do better.
FCB meet PSG. PSG meet FCB.
world’s best team playing in kits impossible 2 look @, in tradition of salmon/electric mint/floro yellow.

From the FCB website:

The Barcelona shirt for the 2012-2013 season features a new and daring look, with the world famous stripes gradually merging from red to blue. The design has been described as reflecting how the club has made such copious use of young, local talent for so many years in combination with some of the world’s top international stars, thus reflecting the club’s famous blend of youth, tradition and creativity.

This home jersey is a huge source of aggravation for me and is unlike anything previous. Look back through the years. I suppose if they blurred a royal blue with the red, that would have made sense. Otherwise, this is a PSG throwaway kit.

As for the away strip, just hideous. These are grown men, not 8 year old AYSO players that don’t know any better. Treat them with some respect. The colors are basically a fusion of 06/07 and 08/09 versions and create a “vibrant” Tequila Sunrise.

Obviously my position is that Nike got these horribly wrong. I cannot believe that players will actually have to wear these and that I will have to watch them on TV. High Def may actually be a hindarance for these.

2012: 07/20
CATEGORY: Strip Club
TAGS: FC Barcelona
Nike
Stop the Sleeve
2 comments

Old Futbol Buffet–If It’s Not Scottish, It’s Crap!

For those of a certain age and comedic disposition . . . THIS!!

My expectations were low for this game. I hadn’t noticed a discernable difference between Bradley’s team and Klinnsmannschaft. Why? Well Jurgen is still dealing with the same players. As I told some of the guys at pick up, Messi did not all of the sudden become American.

I thought his choice of attacking players was interesting, with Donovan, Boyd and Torres up front. I saw Boyd for a couple of minutes against Italy and liked Torres in the 2010 World Cup build up. The team lined up in an attacking 4-3-3 and piled the pressure on straight away against the visitors. Three goals were scored in the opening 15 minutes, all by the Americans, although Cameron unfortunately put one in the back of his own net.

What was clear from the first half was that Scotlandwere not fully engaged in this game. The Scots gave the US way too much time and space and although they enjoyed a little more of the game in the middle third of the match, the goals they gave up were a combination of a lack of energy, a loss of concentration and finishing of the highest order. Bradley’s strike was phenomenal, not only in its power and accuracy but in its compensation for a pretty poor layoff from Boyd.

The game petered out into a showcase for Landycakes who grabbed a hat trick. His movement and directness were fine but we’ll see how he does on Wednesday. How Jones stays in the team is beyond me. I thought he and Edu were poor but not exposed too often due to the opponent. Also felt that Cherundolo was muted, not getting forward as much as I’m used to. Perhaps a result of the formation?

But enough about the game. Let’s get on to the real issue—the kit.

A significant other at the game said the Americans looked like a bunch of sailors out there. Maybe. I think it’s a not very challenging game of Where’s Waldo? In the past I have liked the Celtic and QPR kits but for some reason the red and white hoops irritate me. I think in time the jersey will grow on me, and I did like the navy blue shorts and white socks.

However I can’t ignore the fact that the numbers were INVISIBLE!!

Silver numbers on a white background??? I tweeted during the game that Nike is trying to ruin football, but it turns out that the USSF was in charge of that genius decision (thanks to Grant Wahl for the info). We’ll see if things change for the Brazil game but in terms of wardrobe, formation and resolve of the opposition.

—-

UPDATE.

Right after the game kicked off, twitter was abuzz about a National Anthem performance of Carl Lewis proportions. Thanks to Dirty Tackle, here is what we missed.

2012: 05/29
CATEGORY: Old Futbol Buffet
TAGS: Nike
Scotland
USMNT
1 comment

Strip Club–Brazilian Wax Edition

I was doing ok following my self-imposed kit buying rules until I found the site Beautiful Gear. If you are not following this site, you are missing out, as it is a wonderful destination for the latest in jerseys and footwear and fashion. Early in 2011 I came upon this post, which tied my love for footy and Batman in a way I could not have imagined. So in the spirit of the knights of old, I went on a quest. I knew I wanted this kit even though it violated my new principles of buying on US Men’s National Kits, but for this one I was willing to make an exception.

However, this journey was a little more difficult than I had imagined, as info and accessibility were sketchy at best. In my research I found out that Brazil had actually worn white kits in their early history but had put them in the trashbin of history after losing the 1950 World Cup Final at the Maracana, and that a fan contest had created the iconic kit going forward.

I found a couple of more sites that talked about this foreboding jersey but very little in the way of links to purchase. My research revealed the CBF has put the kibosh on the Dark Knight version but had approved a black kit with yellow highlights. I can’t imagine the Seleção ever wearing this in a competitive game, but the modified kit is still amazing with the hints of color popping out against the black background. (Pics courtesy of footballfashion.org)

I have a lead on a knock off version of the black kit so I might spring for it at some point. If anyone knows where to find this one of a kind shirt, please let me know. Yes I already have too many jerseys, but this a true collector’s item, so might have to bend my “rules” slightly.

2012: 04/13
CATEGORY: Strip Club
TAGS: Brazilian National Team
Nike
Seleção
1 comment

Strip Club–House Dancer Edition

At Euro 1996 I saw England destroy the Dutch 4-1 and dismissed them, but then I fell in love with Holland at the 1998 World Cup. I enjoyed the way the Oranje played, with Davids and Cocu and Kluivert and Overmars and Bergkamp, who scored that fantastic goal against Argentina, and couldn’t wait for a final between Holland and France, but Brazil ruined that. Two years on, I saw them sweep through the competition on home soil, including great games against France and the destruction of Yugoslavia before they fell to Italy on penalties.

Somehow they did not qualify for the 2002 World Cup so my next chance to really watch them was in Portugal at Euro 2004, pitted against Germany, the Czech Republic and Latvia. One of the best matches of the entire tournament was Holland against the Czech Republic (start at 4:01 of video), which featured the little and large combo up top of Baros and Koller, with Rosicky pulling the strings behind, plus Smicer and Poborsky and Nedved in the midfield. Holland came out on fire and were up 2-0 in the first 20 minutes after a headed goal from Bouma and a manipulation of the offside rule by Ruud van Nistelrooy. The Czechs were able to pull one back as Holland tried to kill off the game in the second half, but Davids hit the post and RvN was denied by Petr Cech. The moments after were truly magical as Koller chested down a cross for Baros to volley home and then minutes later, Smicer tapped in from close range after Van der Sar could only parry a shot and Poborsky unselfishly squared for his teammate.

In the other group games, Van Nistelrooy scored an amazing header against Germany to share the points, and then Holland crushed Latvia in the final group game to earn a place in the knockout round. I don’t really remember much from the quarterfinal with Sweden that ended with Holland prevailing on penalties. The Dutch again went down in the semis as an absolutely stunning goal from Maniche put the Portuguese 2-0 up and into the Final on home soil.

(images courtesy of Historical Kits)

These jerseys were another eBay special, getting both the home and away for a ridiculous price. Again they are not 100% authentic, based on my research, but are pretty close. Nike has done a good job with the Dutch kit over the years, and I love this template from Nike, which is one of their best efforts. With the breastplate template and number centered and circled, the jerseys are class. Also the material is very light and breathes pretty well. Unfortunately I ordered the wrong size so on a windy day I’m blown all over the field as the shirt acts as a wind sock but that’s my only complaint.

As I got ready to move to Atlanta, I went through my kit collection. While I loved these shirts and they had served me well through the years, I gave them to fellow soccer lover and groundhopper and podcast guest, Alex Baker. Hup Holland!!

2012: 03/02
CATEGORY: Strip Club
TAGS: Czech Republic
Euro 2004
Kit Nerd
Netherlands
Nike
Strip Club
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Strip Club–Couch Dance Edition

I am not an Arsenal supporter, that would be my brother, but I do respect them, especially the Wenger Arsenal. I first heard the words Arsenal Football Club on a Goals Galore VHS tape that recapped the 88-89 season which came into my possession. Yes that season, won dramatically at Anfield by Michael Thomas.

In the early 90’s all I knew about the Gunners was Ian Wright, David Seaman, only because he let in that ridiculous goal against Zaragoza in the 1995 Cup Winners Cup Final, and Tony Adams. Then the Professor took over, which I didn’t immediately pick up on, (I was more interested in Dennis Bergkamp, who lit up the English game after his transfer from Inter), and in the subsequent years there were epic battles between the Gunners and the Red Devils for supremacy in the English game.

At the turn of century, Arsenal released a line of kits from Nike, which marked the switch from JVC to Dreamcast/Sega as their shirt sponsor, and the Gunners 2000-2002 third European jersey caused lust in my heart. Based on my research, this jersey was only worn twice in the 2000-01 Champions League, once at home against Sparta Prague and then away against Spartak Moscow. Finding any other confirmation or any other mention of the kit was quite difficult. Here is how the Gunners did in Europe’s top competition those two seasons:

2000-01

The Gunners swept through the first group stage, winning their first three games, including recovering from a 2-0 deficit against Shaktar. The second group stage proved more difficult with Bayern Munich, Lyon and Spartak Moscow. Arsenal scraped through in second place and met Valencia in the quarters. A first half goal from Ayala gave the visitors the vital away goal. The Gunners recovered to win 2-1 but lost 1-0 at the Mestalla to go out on away goals.

2001-02

The following season Arsenal made the second group stage only after a 3-1 win against Mallorca which gave them the tiebreaker. The next phase was very tough and included Bayer Leverkusen (who lost in the Final to Real Madrid), Deportivo (who finished second in the group and lost to Manchester United in the quarters), and Juventus (who finished bottom of the group but won Serie A). The Gunners were in a good position but lost their last two games to Depor and Juventus to get knocked out.

Reviewing the squads from those two years was a great trip down memory lane—Seaman, Keown, Parlour, Viera, Pires, Bergkamp, and Henry—with Adams and Dixon retiring in 2002.

(image courtesy of Historical Football Shirts)

I’ve never touched this kit or seen it in the flesh, so I have no idea how it would feel to wear it, but the visual of the kit is stunning. The yellow trim on the collar and sleeves adds just the right accent, while the sponsor is not overpowering, and the club crest provides a sublime touch of class to the kit. According to Historical Football Kits, the blue shirt was worn with yellow shorts and socks, which takes away from the whole look. I would much prefer all navy blue or could probably settle for navy blue shirt and shorts with yellow socks.

Think of all the ugly away kits in the EPL era—Liverpool Grey, almost any Chelsea away kit, the NUFC mustard striped travesty and the Everton Pink—and then try to think of the good looking ones—MUFC 93-95, MUFC 97-98, maybe a Tottenham one here or there—and I would argue that this might be the finest away kit of any EPL team ever. Maybe one day, I’ll get on eBay and pick one up, never to wear it in public, but just to have. I’m that shallow and materialistic.

2012: 02/03
CATEGORY: Strip Club
TAGS: Arsenal
Champions League
Nike
2 comments

Strip Club–Sky Box Edition

For Manchester United, white or blue was the typical away kit over the years, with a yellow based strip occasionally thrown in, but in 1993 everything changed. The Red Devils introduced the all black away kit, which has produced a stylish edge to their collection over the last 20 years.

1993-1995

Building on their first league title since 1968, the Reds went on to win their first league and FA cup double, a feat that had not been done since Arsenal in 1971. Unfortunately, involvement in the Champions League did not last long. After drawing 3-3 with Galatasary at Old Trafford, the Reds traveled to Istanbul, where the hosts held them to a scoreless draw and gave them an away experience they would never forget.

The following season saw them come up short on three major fronts, finishing second to Blackburn in the league, losing the FA Cup to Everton 1-0, and getting knocked out of the Champions League at the Group Stage after heavy defeats away to FC Barcelona and IFK Gothenburg.

The kit itself was sweet. In my limited experience in soccer at the time, I had not seen a black jersey, but when I saw Cantona and Co. run out in the black strip with yellow and blue highlights, I knew I wanted one. Sadly, I have never picked one up. I have had a couple of chances on ebay but have never pulled the trigger.

1998-1999

The next time the black kit appeared was the magical Treble season, although for the life of me, I can’t remember them even wearing it except for maybe the Charity Shield.

If you don’t know the story of the season, stop reading this and get researching. That campaign had everything–narrow defeats, crushing victories, sumptuous games (especially the games against FCB in the Champions League), one of the greatest goals ever scored, and of course the most dramatic finish ever to any game, Solskjaer against Bayern Munich.

Of the black kits, this is my least favorite. Might be the neon green trim, might be the Umbro logo being a touch too big, might be the collar. Just something about the strip does not do it for me.

2003-2005

Next up is the all black kit from 2003-2005, which saw several key events in the history of the club and the Premier League—the Invincibles of Arsenal, the sale of David Beckham, the arrival of Cristiano Ronaldo, the sale of the club to the Glazers, and the rise of Abramovich’s Chelsea. The 2003-04 season was the first of three in a row in which they did not win the league, finishing third behind the unbeaten Arsenal and Chelsea, but the Reds did win the FA Cup, beating Millwall 3-0, their 11^th and last one to date. In the Champions League, they won their group before losing to Porto in the first knockout round, partly due to Howard’s flub in injury time, which allowed Porto to progress and win the competition, launching the phenomenon of the Special One.

The following season Jose Mourinho arrived at Chelsea and led them to their first league title in 50 years. United finished third again despite a late surge in the winter months, but back to back defeats in April to Norwich and Everton ended their hopes. The Red Devils reached the FA Cup Final, which Arsenal won on penalties. A pair of 1-0 defeats to AC Milan knocked United out of the Champions League again at the first knockout hurdle.

The jersey is simple, with, as the Pride of Manchester Website notes, A ‘watermarked’ flower pattern adds a nice touch to the jersey. The only drawback of the kit is that the collar, which has an understated white accent, is a little too wide. I received this kit as a gift and it’s a size too big which takes away from my enjoyment of it. If it was the correct size, I would wear it all the time.

2007-2008

Two years later the black kit was back, this time during a successful campaign for the Reds. Anderson, Owen Hargreaves, Nani and Carlos Tevez arrived to strengthen the squad, which ended with a European Double. Manchester United won their 16^th league title, surging past Arsenal and holding off Chelsea at the end. The Blues would be their opponent in the in the first all English Champions League Final. An early CR7 goal was cancelled out by Lampard and the game remained scoreless through the second half and extra time, in which Drogba got sent off. Looked like all was lost when Ronaldo missed his spot kick, but England’s Brave John Terry slipped on his kick and it hit the post. Anelka, the seventh kicker for Chelsea, stepped up with a chance to extend the shoot out but Edwin van de Sar saved it, and Manchester United were European Champions for the third time.

The range of kits for this campaign is one of the best ever. Each jersey is classy, with the black kit keeping things simple with red piping across the shoulders and a white stripe down the back. Love this kit and need to get my hands on one.

2009-2011

The fall of 2009 was year one of ACR (After Cristiano Ronaldo), and it saw good fights on all fronts but only one trophy—the Carling Cup. Wayne Rooney had a phenomenal season, scoring 34 goals but it wasn’t enough as Chelsea reclaimed the league and won the FA Cup as well. United finished second in the league and lost early to Leeds in the FA Cup, which launched the career of Jermaine Beckford, and by career I mean decent transfer fee and disappearance from English football. In the Champions League, Rafael’s sending off against Munich in the second leg set up a tense finish, which was decided by a fantastic effort for Arjen Robben.

The following year was jammed packed with success, drama and a large dose of reality. Results before Christmas were mixed as the Rooney contract saga played itself out. Eventually Wazza got onside and flourished with Chicharito, who had arrived in the off-season, and by the end of the season he had moved past Berba in the pecking order and scored an early goal against Chelsea that all but sealed the title, the 19^th title that took United ahead of Liverpool. A possible treble was on as well, but defeat in the FA Cup semis to the blue side of Manchester (thanks Michael Carrick) and a masterclass from FCB in the Champions League Final meant that the Red Devils only won a single trophy and revealed the gap between the champions of England and the champions of Europe.

The home kit was an homage to the early 1920’s, and this away kit takes it a step further with the black kit and royal blue chevron. I hated it at first but it has grown on me. In the first year, the sponsor was AIG, while in the second, it was Aon. The material of the kit is amazing and weighs almost nothing. If I come across it on the web at reduced price, I might pick it up.

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Special thanks to . . .

HistoricalKits.co.uk, which is an amazing resource. For Manchester United in particular, it has a digital representation of every kit from the days of Newton Heath until now.

AboutManUtd.com was bills an online encyclopedia of Manchester United that broke down each campaign by competition, including all player appearances and a season recap. The site helped me jog the memory for each season and set me on my way for research. It is now only via an app. Take a look.

YouTube. What a treat to relive amazing moments in the history of Manchester United. Sometimes the quality isn’t awesome but it gets the job done.

Finally, for another opinion, check out Bleacher Report’s Top Ten Manchester United kits.

2012: 01/06
CATEGORY: Strip Club
TAGS: Manchester United
Nike
Umbro
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