Strip Club–Juice Bar Edition

From–Juice Bar: A club that doesn’t serve alcohol. They only serve soft drinks.

Usually I take this space to reflect on jerseys that I like and the personal history behind them. But in going back through some old notes and blog posts, I found a couple of jerseys that are absolutely hideous.


Be careful. I don’t want you to go blind from the ugliness. Here we go . . .

Racing hit a hat trick for this season.

My guess is that the designer hit a wall, purged any ideas, good and bad, as a way of cleansing the palate for the future. Start with the home kit, which is the least offensive. What is with the swirls and that ridiculous collar? Then the away kit is marred by the talon like intrusions of differing colors. Finally the third kit is just plain ugly. White with tan? Not regal, not dynamic, not anything.  Just ugly.


Then there’s Getafe kit from 2009-10.



The club’s shirt sponsor is Burger King, and while the kit is not necessarily ugly, it is a bit disturbing. On the underside of the kit is a screened image of the King of all Burgers, which a player can raise over his face to celebrate a goal. To be fair, it’s kinda innovative, getting big time logo recognition when the camera gets tight to celebrate a goal. But seeing the eerie grin of the Burger King is slightly surreal.


Finally, Athletic Bilbao really set the bar for horrendousness in 2004. I came across this beauty thanks to the interweb, and I physically got ill when I saw it.

Think about all the people who had to say yes to get this jersey produced and any belief you have in humanity will be extinguished. Truly horrific. Imagine being a player and having to put this monstrosity on. Has to be top 5 all time of worst kits. sums it up pretty well.


If you need to cleanse your palate, visit the 50 Greatest Football Shirts Ever compilation by Football Attic. Don’t agree with some of these but great look back at shirt design.

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